15 Funny Crochet Patterns


15 Funny Crochet Patterns

This page will make you chuckle. Come up with your own caption and then find some unusual and funny crochet patterns!

15 Funny Crochet Patterns

We all know that laughter is the best medicine. Well, we have a whole bottle for you on this page! Life is serious enough, so why not indulge in a few minutes of entertainment?

This page is full of fun. We have 15 Funny Crochet Patterns below to keep you laughing. These crochet projects are fun and unique, which is why we love them so much.

Plus! When we saw this image of a woman crocheting with quite the look on her face, we thought it would be a great idea for a caption contest.

If you have even one funny bone in your body, then we hope you participate. Simply look at the picture and comment in our comment section at the bottom of this page.

Captions can be anything! A pun, a time when you've worked on crochet and could relate to her look, or some other funny thought she could have while crocheting. Give it your best shot and have us all in (crochet) stitches. 

Then peruse our funny crochet patterns. You'll find decor, wearables, costumes, and more. Does your friend love pancakes? Then make her a pancake scarf! Find Halloween or Christmas ideas to crochet or simply make someone smile because of a funny crochet piece that you made. The opportunities are endless.

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Caption This!

What caption comes to mind when looking at the image below? You can vote, too. Simply "like" any caption that makes you laugh.

Scroll down to comment!

Woman crocheting while glaring at camera

Our caption:

"What do you mean you no longer need me to crochet your wedding dress?"

Can you beat that?!

Caption contest winner, Brenda (rndtrp42 4318128):

"What do you mean they have discontinued this color? I have not finished the blanket that I started in 1980."


15 Funny Crochet Patterns

While we're on the subject of laughing, we thought we'd share some of the funniest and amusing free crochet patterns on our site. These funny crochet projects certainly have their place but it doesn't mean we can't have a chuckle at their oddities.

If you are looking to crochet a gift for a friend who has it all, these funny crochet patterns may just be what you need to surprise them. Take a look and we hope they brighten your day!

Das Beard Hat Crochet Pattern

Das Beard Hat Crochet Pattern - Your husband can stay extra warm at the football game by wearing a hat with a built-in beard.

Das Beard Hat Crochet Pattern

Cute Hot Dog Crochet Coat

Cute Hot Dog Crochet Coat - If you want to make all the neighbors giggle with glee, then you HAVE to put your dog in this!

Cute Hot Dog Crochet Coat

Butter Me Up Crochet Pattern

Butter Me Up Crochet Pattern - Now you can show your love of breakfast food on your sleeve! You butter toast this brilliant purse idea!

Butter Me Up Crochet Pattern

Crocheted Tighty Whities

Crocheted Tighty Whities - We'll let you decide if these are supposed to be worn as real underwear or not...

Crocheted Tighty Whities

Bacon Crochet Scarf Pattern

Bacon Crochet Scarf Pattern - We all love bacon but have you ever thought of wearing it? Now you can!

Bacon Crochet Scarf Pattern

Furry Beast Crochet Gloves

Furry Beast Crochet Gloves - Is it midnight already? Scare your family with these ferociously furry crochet paws!

Furry Beast Crochet Gloves

Garden Gnome Kid Costume Crochet Pattern

Garden Gnome Kid Costume Crochet Pattern - An amusing Halloween costume for your kid. It makes us laugh every time we see it.

Garden Gnome Kid Costume Crochet Pattern

Crochet Christmas Tree Blanket Tail

Crochet Christmas Tree Blanket Tail - You've probably seen crochet mermaid tails but how about Christmas trees?

Crochet Christmas Tree Blanket Tail

Pancake Scarf Crochet Pattern

Pancake Scarf Crochet Pattern - When this hilarious pancake scarf is folded, it looks like a tall stack of delicious pancakes! Hilarious!

Pancake Scarf Crochet Pattern

Little Monster Easter Egg Crochet Pattern

Little Monster Easter Egg Crochet Pattern - This charming little Easter pal is a funny and cute alternative to bunnies and chicks.

Little Monster Easter Egg Crochet Pattern

Bacon and Eggs Pillow Pattern

Bacon and Eggs Pillow Pattern - Bacon's back, baby. This time in pillow form! It even comes with a couple of fried eggs.

Bacon and Eggs Pillow Pattern

The Conan Blimp Crochet Pattern

The Conan Blimp Crochet Pattern - Ok, this project may not be super funny looking but Conan sure is. He has us in stitches nightly.

The Conan Blimp Crochet Pattern

Dog Poop Christmas Ornament

Dog Poop Christmas Ornament - What better way to represent your beloved pet than with an homage to their business?

Dog Poop Christmas Ornament

Crochet Cat Bus Pattern

Crochet Cat Bus Pattern - Heartfelt and funny at the same time, this funny and cutesy cat bus is a perfect tribute to My Neighbor Totoro.

Crochet Cat Bus Pattern

Minecraft Crochet Pig Pattern

Minecraft Crochet Pig Pattern - Whether or not you are familiar with Minecraft, there is something that's always funny about a cubed pig!

Minecraft Crochet Pig Pattern

What is your caption?
Let us know in the comments!

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Wait... you LIKED my Christmas sweater?

You want me to make an afghan for a king sized bed and you want to pay me $20?

What are you still doing here? I need more yarn. Its 60% off the all collections in store

stay away from the crochet hook and no one gets hurt!!!

Given enough yarn I could rule the world

Thank you so much to everyone who participated and voted! Your captions had me in stitches! My team and I are narrowing down our favorites and will announce the winner soon. - Krista, Editor

The winner has been announced! rndtrp42 4318128 said, "What do you mean they have discontinued this color? I have not finished the blanket that I started in 1980."

You told your teacher i would make how many for the class party next week!?!

If I have to weave in one more loose end, I'm gonna scream!

HOOKER? Do I look like a hooker to you???

The look you get when you mention her stash out loud.

You touched my yarn??!! You don't wanna know what happened to the last person that touched my yarn!!!!

You made my day. Lets keep crocheting.

What do you mean you can't crochet??!!

What do u mean u buried my hooks with my husband

Get that cat out of my stash!!

The word is crochet, not crotchety!

What do you mean I can't buy any more yarn!!!

You paid how much? For how many?

Did you say I have too much yarn? Blasphemy! Leave! Now!

These things take time, you know!

What do you mean the party has been moved to Saturday? THIS Saturday??!!??

What do you mean Walmart has some just like this on clearance for $2??

You need afghans for three babies? Next week?!

"Miss Kitty, this is my pretty, leave my yarn alone!"

What! I have to unravel 20 rows?

This color yarn was discontinued???

What do you mean you eloped and dont need this dress?!!

You want how many scarves in three weeks!!!

Your cat got into my yarn basket!??

Stop interrupting me! Can't you see I am trying to count to ten?

Too much yarn? There is NO SUCH THING as too much yarn!

You are NOT using my hook for fishing!

Touch my yarn.....it could be the last thing you touch!!!!

KNITTING!!! I will have you know, I 'm HOOKING!

I told you...I...AM....Counting!!!

You paid how much for that yarn?

You made me lose count of my stitches.

Seriously...Quit talking to me! You're making me lose count!

You're standing in my LIGHT!

I swear, if you make me loose count -I will end you. Capiche?

I said Double crochet, not Single or Triple, DOUBLE crochet!

Customer is it cheaper if I buy the yarn? Me !!!!

What do you mean they have discontinued this color? I have not finished the blanket that I started in 1980.

My team and I voted. This one made us laugh the hardest! You win! Expect an email soon :)

Did someone say yarn sale?!

You want me to crochet WHAT!?!?

The look you get when your grandmother has been working on a lace tablecloth for you for weeks and you tell her you changed your mind and want it in a different color.

My mistake was how many rows back?!!

"You did what with my favorite crochet hook?"

What do you mean I have thirty more scarfs to make?

What part of 'DON'T BOTHER ME WHEN I'M COUNTING don't you understand?

Ohh, grandma has that look again. Just put on the sweater and smile!!!

How many times must I repeat myself...it is CROCHETING, not knitting!

What do you mean, you're out of yarn!?!

WHAT? I am on my last 3 rows and you changed your mind about the colors you want?

The look you get when Grandma sees you used the queen sized afghan she made to cushion the dog's crate.

I did not buy that scarf, I uh, made it.... And no I dont spend my weekends at Bingo, I made that.

She asked "What ya knitting?" I hit her with my cane!!!!!!

What!! just because i'm older you think that i can no longer crochet?

What do you mean " I have to stop and feed you " ?

What do you mean, you don't want a tissue cozy to match the toilet seat cover?

Fool my hooks make string into magical thing!

You want me to do WHAT with my YARN !!!

Given enough yarn I could rule the world

SILENCE! I am counting!

Did you say you weren't going to frog back to your slipped stitch?

The internet's down?! How do I get to my patterns, or my crochet group, or the yarn sales? How am I supposed to show off this afghan that I finally finished after 3 years?!

What do you mean I cant take my crochet hook through airplane security?

Leave me alone, I am crocheting!!!

You washed the sweater I made you in hot water?

You volunteered me to make HOW MANY Afghans for the church bazaar next week?

This is CROCHET! Knitting takes two needles.

When you are playing yarn chicken and its getting close to the end!

Im one of the highest paid hookers in the area, THANK YOU!

YOU! You messed up my stitch count!

You did what with my hidden stash of yarn!?!?

My yarn is NOT to be used on the Christmas tree as garlands!!!!

You want me to crochet what!

The cat did WHAT! in my basket of yarn?

I will NOT use my good brown merino to make dog poop Christmas ornaments!

Hahahahahaha, great one!

OMG! Not the Donald for President! May God help us all!

"What do you mean!!? You gave ALL my finished crochet projects, supplies, and yarn stash to the THRIFT STORE!!!"

I'm counting!

You want it when???

Yarn give me give me

did someone say yarn sale.....tell me more, Now!

Kitty! Stop frogging my yarn! I'm counting stitches.

you did WHAT with my crochet hooks????

What do you mean ...the dogs got into my bag of yarn???

How dare you call this "knitting!" It's crochet!

(heard on television) "and in today's news the warehouse holding the entire stock of crochet yarn burned to the ground late last night..."

Can't you see that I am COUNTING!!!

Too much yarn?? Too much yarn?? One can not HAVE TOO MUCH YARN!!

I'm crocheting! Do not accuse me of knitting! I do not knit!!

What do you mean, the dog has my hook?

What do you mean I don't have enough yarn and they're out of this dye lot!!

Oh I think I just found my lost hook.

You did WHAT with my stash???!!!!!!

I'll buy the wool, can you whip me up a king size throw for my bed?

The cat is playing with my crocheting....AGAIN!

How many times do I have to tell you to NOT interrupt me when I am counting?

I sure hope grandma doesn't crochet me another hat this year for Christmas.

"I'm gonna need more Rum for this!"

You want me to crochet a complete baby layette in blue and yellow for you to give to your friend's daughter at her shower in two days... because buying it at babiesrus is way too expensive... and you think I can do it for free anyway ...

"SERIOUSLY!! You don't like this, you chose it."

You no I lost my crochet hook this morning....found it......ouch

Get your filthy hands off my stash!!

YOU threw out the cardboard box in the basement? The one with all my old crochet STUFF in it??????

(Counting louder )151, 152...

So, you're not talking while I'm counting, are you? Hmmm??

You DARE to interrupt the count????

Son, what do you mean you are going to down size my stash? I dont think so!

I do NOT knit! I crochet! Learn the difference!

If you interrupt my counting ..... one ..... more ..... TIME !!!!!!


Did you just ask me what I'm KNITTING??

Don't tell ME I have enough yarn! You DO realize that she who crochets also has a set of lethal knitting needles, don't you?


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